Obama’s town hall meeting in New Hampshire has come and gone, and it was just as drama filled as everyone expected. Protestors surrounded the high school where President Obama held the town hall meeting, holding signs that read “Obama Lies, Grandma Dies” and “NoBama Deathcare.” It was an interesting sight, and one that will be repeated many times as Obama makes his way across the country holding town hall meetings to discuss the six myths of healthcare reform.
What we thought about here at the No Insurance Club was the thousands of lost souls out there who want to take part in one of Obama’s town hall meetings and disrupt the democratic process through violent threats and obnoxious yelling, but can’t quite figure out how to be accepted by the mob. Well, we’ve got you covered.
Today, at the No Insurance Club, we are releasing our first “Town Hell Instruction Manual.” This is an all-inclusive manual for every side of every party. Want to know the best comeback line for a healthcare deathcamp protestor? Wondering what shirt to wear? Should you wear your Aetna Company polo that you got at the million dollar Christmas party last year, or be a bit more subtle with your “Yes I Can” t-shirt? What should your protest sign say? Should you go to Obama’s town hall meeting with a life-size effigy of your favorite democrat, or go with the classic poster board cliché with a swastika?
Whatever your concern, the “Town Hell Instruction Manual” will make sure you get to that party with bells on. Within our instruction manual, we suggest holding a friendly get together before the town hall meeting, perhaps just to get to know each other and toss back a few cold ones. Don’t forget to invite your million-dollar sponsors using the invitation templates we have provided in the manual.
Two Party Potluck!!
Hitler and Potato Salad Night
Come and bring your friends and combat gear and we will discuss how we can make America healthier!!
The potluck will be a huge success, and then you can carpool to Obama’s town hall meeting! Or, better yet, we suggest giving Patients First a call and scheduling a bus pickup with their not-obnoxious-in-any-kind-of-way “Hands Off My Healthcare” bus. That way, the bus will drive through your neighborhood spreading its wonderful message to the observing families, then stop right in front of your house. Plus, it’s a great perk because you don’t have to worry about a designated driver! When you pile into the Patients First, oil-funded “grassroots” bus, don’t forget that combat gear and death threat list…very important that you remember who you are threatening.
So, you’re at Obama’s town hall meeting, standing outside with your new buddies, full from the Hitler and potato salad potluck, high off of the continuous replay of Glen Beck on the flat screen TV that was in the Patients First party bus, and hyped up on the Rush Limbaugh rhetoric, but you’re not sure what to do next. Inevitably there will be a man with some missing teeth and a camo-hat that you can always turn to for protesting advice, but in the “Town Hell Instruction Manual” we suggest to just start yelling. Usually, it doesn’t even matter what you yell about as long as no one else can yell over you.
According to our calculations through numerous tests and years of experience dating back to the 2000 election, you have succeeded in your town hall meeting goal if no one else can get a word in. If you make the local news congratulations! And if your YouTube video, posted so kindly by Patients First, reaches 250,000 and healthcare companies start paying you to advertise their stance on your YouTube page, then you have our respect.
There is one important point in the “Town Hell Instruction Manual” that I absolutely must convey: “Never, never, never drink the Kool Aid!”
For more information on healthcare, visit http://www.noinsuranceclub.com. Oh, by the way, there is no Town Hell Instruction Manual….at least not yet.
